JTomball College and Community Library's Chrissy Cortez (left) hands a prize to Austin Dominguez (right) during the Library's July 19 Harry Potter party. Dozens of kids took part in the event, which included a magic wand workshop, "frog tossing," "Pin the Tale on Dudley," Harry Potter trivia, cookies and snacks. The highly anticipated final book in the Harry Potters series, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released to worldwide fan fair on July 21.
Photo by Brian Walzel

Emergency Committee maps out plan of action in case of disaster

By Brian Walzel
Tribune Staff

During a week in which the federal government issued a report saying an attack by al-Qaida on U.S. soil is likely within three years, Tomball community leaders gathered to discuss the city’s preparation in case of an emergency.

The Tomball Area Local Emergency Planning Committee met July 18 to discuss steps the city might take should disaster strike the Tomball area. In attendance were representatives from Northwest EMS, the Greater Tomball Area Chamber of Commerce, BJ Services, Tomball Independent School District and the American Red Cross.

Tomball Fire Chief Randy Parr is the chairman of the committee and has also been tabbed as the city’s Emergency Management Coordinator.

He said the committee, which was formed before he was named Fire Chief three years ago, is working to prepare the community for potential disaster.

“The overall purpose is to provide a forum in which government, private citizens, private business, and non-government agencies can work on disaster planning for the community,” he said.

The primary focus of the meeting was a brief overview of the National Incident Management System (NIMS), which provides a “consistent nationwide template to enable all government, private sector, and non-governmental organizations to work together during domestic incidents,” according to a NIMS course summary.

NIMS was enacted by a Presidential Directive in February of 2003 after it was determined that the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks underscored the need for national standards “for incident operations, incident communications, personnel qualifications, resource management, and information management and supporting technology.”

Until NIMS was put into law, there had been no standards for domestic incident response that would reach across all levels of government.

“This allows everyone to work together,” Parr said.

The city’s response to hurricanes Katrina and Rita has provided a blueprint for some Tomball entities. In case of an evacuation, city planners are working to ensure that not only Tomball, but Harris County does not become a destination for evacuees.

In fact, planners are even altering some common post-Katrina terminology to emphasize the need for evacuees to head elsewhere.

Rather than facilities such as churches and schools being deemed shelters, Parr is now calling them “refuges,” to emphasize a short-term stay.

Representatives from Tomball ISD have asked that their schools not be the first choice for these refuges.

Kit Pfeiffer, Director of Community Relations, said Tomball ISD is presented with special challenges during a disaster. She explained that not only is the district working to keep the children safe, they also have a responsibility to get students back to their parents.

Parr believes the city is taking the right steps and making progress toward being prepared in case of an emergency.

“It’s critical to the outcome of our response, our survival. If you don’t have a plan, if you haven’t practiced a plan, when disaster hits, it’s a lousy time to formulate policy,” he said.

Most believe Tomball would be an unlikely target for a terrorist strike, but the dynamics of the greater Tomball area do present their own issues.

Parr explained that the many creeks in the area present an inherent flooding danger and that main artery roads such as FM 2920, SH 249 and the railroad are potential sites for hazardous material disasters.

“We have taken the steps to analyze what our community is susceptible to,” he said. So far, Parr said, Tomball is in better shape than it was.

“I do feel like Tomball is taking steps in the right direction.”

Magnolia Ridge developer questions expenses for public improvement district

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

Project Manager David Burdick is questioning the more than $40,000 a year in expenses the Magnolia Ridge Local Government Corp. (MRLGC) Public Improvement District (PID) has assessed since 2005.

Pictured (left to right), Magnolia Ridge Local Government Corp. Secretary Terry Woodson, and board members Tommy Timmins and Jo Anne Windham.

The PID was established to manage the development’s assessment revenues, but according to Parke Patterson, the PID’s administrative manager, “Until there are homeowners, there is no one to assess monies from. The funds are provided by the developer.”

Burdick wants to know where the money is going and why.

“We paid $175,000 to set up the PID, and we fund the board at $10,000 per quarter,” said Burdick. “We definitely want an accounting of the PID’s expenses.”

He’s not the only one who is questioning the PID’s expenses.

MRLGC Secretary Terry Woodson requested a balance sheet and income statement from Parmet, Chapman & Madsen, the PID’s financial management company, at a July 16 meeting.

The next day newly appointed MRLGC board member Jo Anne Windham requested a copy of the budget, annual expenditures and the PID’s financial documents from the date of inception.

The money fronted by the developer to the PID pays for administrative, financial and legal services.

The board was told at the meeting that upon approval of the invoices for Parke Patterson Consultants ($2,897.65) and Parmet, Chapman and Madsen ($2,403) for administrative and financial services respectively, provided in April, May and June, the PID would have an estimated fund balance of $6,600.

That advice came from John Madsen of Parmet, Chapman and Madsen, the board’s certified public accountant.

Shortly thereafter, the board’s attorney, Neil Rackleff, submitted two invoices for payment of services rendered from April to May totaling $6,746.98.

The board’s approval of those invoices leaves the PID fund balance in the hole by nearly $150.

“I did not do the mental calculations in my head, but if that is the case, we are going to have to take a second look at it,” said Windham.

Magnolia’s Woodruff leads Banditos to World Series success

By Brian Walzel
Tribune Staff

The 12U AAA USSSA Banditos Red have risen to the ranks of among the best select teams in the country and Magnolia native Nate Woodruff has been a key component to their success.

Magnolia’s Nate Woodruff helped the Banditos 12U team finish third in the USSSA World Series held in Kansas.

The Banditos recently finished third in the USSSA World Series, held from July 8 to July 15 in Hutchinson, Kan., finishing with an overall record of 8-3.

Woodruff was the winning pitcher in three of those games, throwing all six innings in each contest.

His first outing came in pool play against the Mighty Bucks, the tournament’s second place team and consolation bracket winner, when he struck out 11 batters on 81 pitches.

Woodruff then hurled another six-inning complete game against Wichita Academy Red in a 2-1 Banditos victory. His third complete game came against the then-No. 1 ranked Texas Rattlers. Woodruff allowed just a single hit and struck out seven in the Banditos’ win.

The Banditos won their first three games in the championship tournament before falling to the Utah Cutters in the fourth round. The loss sent them to the loser’s bracket, where another defeat would have sent the Banditos packing.

But the team rallied to win their next three games, including a 1-0 victory over the same Utah squad that sent the Banditos to the loser’s bracket.

They then faced an Oklahoma Cardinals team in the title game that had gone undefeated in tournament play. The Cardinals’ winning streak would remain alive with a 10-0 win over a tired and undermanned Banditos team.

“You’re lucky if you can get three kids on a team who play with heart,” said Nate’s mother, Joan Woodruff. “We had nine.”

The Banditos finished the 2007 season with a record of 30-10.

The Gullo Antique Car Museum was the location for a Magnolia Parkway Chamber of Commerce (MPCC) Business After Hours held July 12. “This is a pretty special after hours. Not many people get to see this wonderful place. We are very privileged to be enjoying it here tonight,” said MPCC Executive Director Kitty Self. Tony Gullo Sr. began collecting antique cars more than 40 years ago. However, the museum has been a work in process for only 25 years, Gullo said. The museum now covers 50,000 square feet providing 50 tons of air conditioning and heating for 185 automobiles. Pictured (left to right), Sparky Gullo, Self, museum owner Tony Gullo Sr., MPCC President Vic Lawrence, and MPCC Secretary J.B. Mayfield. The group is standing over a 2003 Saleen S7, one of only five models manufactured. The car has 150 actual miles and produces speeds in excess of 210 miles-per-hour.
Photo by Cari Herr

Magnolia Police Department issues information scam warning to residents

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

The Magnolia Police Department has issued a warning to residents in the area not to give out personal identifying information without first checking for credentials.

The warning comes after a complaint was filed of a possible scam to acquire personal information. On July 1 a white female with dark hair and glasses approached a resident at 10 p.m. in the 31900 block of Michael.

The subject identified herself to the resident as a Census Bureau agent, but produced no identification. The resident became suspicious when the subject began asking questions she felt were not pertinent to Census data.

The Census Bureau Web site advises, “If someone from the Census Bureau has visited you, and you have any questions,” call 214-253-4400 or 1-800-835-9752, or e-mail the Regional Office at dallas.regional.office@census.gov.

The Census Bureau Regional Office conducts current surveys, one-time surveys and reimbursable work for other government agencies. Field agents present a consistent protocol for approaching residents for survey.

“We like to be sure we are good neighbors, so we show our identification and present a letter that shows what survey we are working on,” said Joe Cavey, Coordinator for the Dallas Regional Office.

Without proper identification and a letter of introduction, residents are cautioned against providing personal identifying information to anyone claiming to be a Census Bureau agent.

Pictured above, members of the National Youth Leadership Forum visited Tomball Regional Medical Center on July 12. The Forum sent eight high school students on the tour for an introduction to the world of medicine. Students visited a variety of departments, including the Emergency Room, Women's Center, Physical Therapy and the Cath Lab. The educational objective was to provide the students with a behind the scenes glimpse into a typical day for a medical professional. Tomball was one of 10 research facilities, medical schools, and hospitals in the Houston area that the students attended.
Submitted Photo

Magnolia’s 4A and 4B split on marketing DVD decision

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

Several entities within Magnolia’s government are participating in a collaborative effort to produce a promotional DVD, and some are at odds over the length and cost.

The DVD was authorized for production by Bytes of Life in January and was to include segments on infrastructure, local government, maps, and county thoroughfares and tax incentives.

The cost for the marketing DVD is being split between the Magnolia Area Chamber of Commerce (MACC), the Magnolia 4A Economic Development Corp., Magnolia 4B Community Development Corp, and the city.

Each of the four participating entities was recently asked to approve payment of their $2,800 portion, in addition to approving $1,400 for an additional 6 minutes of video footage, bringing the total length of the video to 18 minutes and the cost up to $16,800.

Despite an approval on July 12 by the 4A to authorize $4,200 in payments for its portion of the DVD expense, the 4B did not approve their portion for expenses incurred at its meeting the same day.

Though 4B Director Mike Karm did made an initial motion to pay the increase, he rescinded his motion after he determined that no evidence existed that the 4B approved the production of the additional footage.

4B Director Viren Vansadia supported Karm’s request for a clarification of who authorized the additional costs.

The original contract for $11,200 was not to exceed 12 minutes and was approved by the city at the Jan. 9 council meeting, authorizing former City Manager Roger Carlisle to sign the contract, which he did on Jan. 23.

According to a letter from Bytes of Life, the DVD Steering Committee authorized the additional segments.

The steering committee consisted of Bytes of Life owner Morrie Mayer, John Bowden of the Bowden Realty Group, City Secretary LuAnn Drake, local historian Celeste Graves, RoseMary Mooney representing both Tomball College and the Tomball Economic Development Committee, Charlie Riley, the Administrative Assistant to the Montgomery County Pct. 2 Commissioner, and MACC President Anne Sundquist.

The additional footage includes segments on mobility and economic development, as well as special features for the original segments.

Drake was requested to invite Bytes of Life President Morrie Mayor to the next meeting.

Drake also confirmed that copyright issues with the company would prevent the participating entities from distributing copies randomly, and that future revisions of the DVD would be an additional expense.

At the July 12 meetings of the 4A and 4B, the two groups viewed what was presented as a draft version of the DVD and noted information errors such as the city’s current form of government and an interview with Carlisle as the city manager.

According to Sundquist, the DVD was already completed and sent to Bytes of Life for mass production when the change in Magnolia’s government went into effect in May.

Directors from 4A made no objection to Carlisle’s segment. However, directors from 4B were split on whether to allow the segment to make the final production cut.

Magnolia ISD board approves county right-of-way deal

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

Though not the land deal of the century, the recent approval by the Magnolia Independent School District (MISD) Board of Trustees to sell just more than a half acre to Montgomery County for $180,022 certainly speaks well for deal negotiator John Paul Watson.

The county approached the school district in March with a $121,965 offer to purchase 25 feet of additional right-of-way in front of Bear Branch Elementary for the expansion of FM 1488.

The package for land and necessary improvements the school district would have to make allowed only $30,681 for those improvements.

Watson met with MISD’s construction supervisor Tim Bruner and Trey Schneider of PBK Architects “to better understand the offer.” The group “determined the improvement was under valued,” Watson said.

MISD identified the improvements to be made would include revised parking lot paving and some removal and relocation of light standards, as well as a tree, modifying the irrigation system, and relocating the school’s marquee.

A counter proposal was made to the county allowing for $84,738 in improvements, but keeping the land value at $95,284.

The Montgomery County Right of Way Administrative Settlement Evaluation Team approved the counter offer in a June 20 letter, the district said. The school board approved the deal at its July 16 meeting.

In other business, the board:

* Approved the final change order for the Celeste Graves Educational Support Center reducing the overall approved cost of the construction. The project came in $6,793.40 under budget at $1,783,733.60.

* Awarded C&D Constructors, Inc. the contract for additional paving at the district’s east transportation center. The contract includes fencing, lighting, underground storm drainage, and an estimated 35,000 square feet of 8-inch concrete paving at a cost of $237,290.

Bruner advised the trustees that “these were all municipality type bidders” and that C&D “specializes in concrete paving as a contractor.”

C&D is a bonded company and won the contract as the lowest bid of six received. High bidder was B&C Constructors at $315,937. The average bid submitted was between $280,000 and $300,000.

Driver cleared of intoxicated manslaughter charge in Hinojosa’s death

Deadly intersection ‘lower than average’ for accidents

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

A Montgomery County Grand Jury recently declined to pursue charges of intoxicated manslaughter in the Nov. 24, 2006 death of Teresa Hinojosa, 35, of Magnolia.

Pictured, Teresa Hinojosa (left), holding her son, Christopher (right) in 2003.

Hinojosa was killed in a late-night side-on collision when she pulled onto FM 1488 from Old Hockley Road in front a blue 2006 Dodge R1500, driven by Jon Paul Mojonnier, 42, of Magnolia.

Hinojosa’s two sons, her sister and nephew, all passengers in the vehicle, suffered injuries, but survived the accident. Mojonnier was charged with intoxicated assault in the incident on three counts, and intoxicated manslaughter on one count.

Evidence from the police investigation was presented to the Grand Jury on June 28, but the case was no billed.

Despite evidence that Mojonnier was intoxicated at the time of the accident, the manslaughter and intoxication assault statutes in Texas require that the evidence show the defendant’s intoxication caused the accidental death.

“Because they returned a no bill, they obviously did not feel there was enough evidence to prove an intoxication manslaughter case or an intoxication assault case, ” said Jim Pruett, prosecuting attorney for the Montgomery County District Attorney’s office.

Even though there may not be enough evidence on the felony charges, there may be enough evidence for a misdemeanor charge of driving while intoxicated (DWI), said Pruett. As a result, Mojonnier’s bond was transferred to a misdemeanor on DWI charges. A court date had not been set as of press time.

Magnolia West High School will begin bussing students through that intersection with the coming school year, according to Magnolia Independent School District Trustee Charlie Riley.

Riley is also the Administrative Assistant to Montgomery County Precinct 2 Commissioner Craig Doyal.

The commissioner’s office petitioned the state for a traffic study at the intersection of FM 1488 and Old Hockley Road in December of 2006, said Riley.

The state conducted a traffic study in March, reviewed the accident history and did a speed zone study along the FM 1488 corridor, but denied the request for a traffic signal in a June letter saying, “the accident history is also lower than average at this intersection.”

The Texas Department of Public Safety Crash Records Bureau reports 10 non-fatal accidents for the intersection in 2005, four in the first half of 2006 and only one for 2007, with Hinojosa’s accident being the only recorded fatality. Crash data for all of 2006 was unavailable.

Council reinstates former mayors to city leadership positions

By Cari Herr
Tribune Staff

Two of Magnolia’s long-time city leaders were recently reinstated to positions of city leadership.

Following the resignation of newly appointed 4B Director Richard Eselius on July 2, Frank Parker was nominated by Council member Patsy Williams to be placed back on 4B at a July 10 city council meeting.

Frank Parker (left) was sworn in as a member of the 4B Corp. on July 12 by City Secretary LuAnn Drake (right).

Despite Councilman Sammie Scott’s previous vote to remove Parker, the motion passed 3-2 with council members Scott, Todd Kana, and Williams in favor.

With positions on the MRLGC filled by newly appointed members Jo Anne Windham and Tommy Timmons, Williams nominated Cedric Smith to the Magnolia Planning Commission. The vote passed unanimously.

The city council removed Smith at a June 12 city council meeting from the board of directors for the Magnolia Ridge Local Government Corp. (MRLGC). They also voted off Parker from his position as Magnolia 4B Corp. President, by a vote of 3-2.

Williams and Kana voted against the motions to remove the two.

Mayor Jimmy Thornton called the removal of Parker and Smith by Councilmen Dave Sutherland, John Bramlett and Scott “malicious,” while Planning Commission Chairman Denny O’Brien said it was “reprehensible.”

Thornton welcomed the council’s approval of the nominations of both men.

Specifically, he cited Smith’s tenure as Magnolia’s first mayor, his participation on the Tomball Regional Hospital Board of Directors in bringing a medical professional building to Magnolia Ridge, as well as Smith’s longtime support of the Magnolia Independent School District, referring to him as “Mr. Maroon.”

On July 12 City Secretary LuAnn Drake administered the oath of office to Parker at the 4B meeting.

However, Smith was not present at the July 16 meeting of the Magnolia Planning Commission to be sworn in.

He said that he did not want to accept the Planning Commission position, but intends to ask the city council to reconsider and place him back on the MRLGC board of directors.

Van Arsdale now sees things differently in Austin

By Brian Walzel
Tribune Staff

During a recent visit to the Tomball Rotary Club, Dist. 13 State Rep. Corbin Van Arsdale said he has changed his perception of many of his fellow legislators, including liberals, and admitted that his past opinions may have been a detriment to his constituents.

State Rep. Corbin Van Arsdale addressed the Tomball Rotary Club at their June 18 meeting

“I have changed how I view people,” Van Arsdale said, fresh off his 10th session as a state legislator representing the Tomball area.

He explained that in past sessions votes and decisions would be made by some groups based on retribution and personal dislikes against other lawmakers.

However, Van Arsdale said he has changed the way he does business in Austin and that he has taken a more personal approach to his relationships with those lawmakers with a positive result.

He also said Tomball has directly benefited from his perception changes.

During the last legislative session, Van Arsdale authored a bill, which gives the City of Tomball the ability to annex Hooks Airport, a vital step in the city’s possible acquisition of the facility.

However, the bill was filed in the closing weeks of the session and it would take some hustling by Van Arsdale and the Calendar Committee, of which Van Arsdale is a member, to move the bill through the House and onto the local calendar where it could be approved and eventually signed into law by Governor Rick Perry.

But in the last week of the session, the home of the chairperson of the Calendar Committee, Beverly Wooley, flooded. With the next meeting of the committee, and the Hooks bill, which still needed to be placed on the calendar by the committee, both in jeopardy, Van Arsdale contacted the Committee Vice Chairperson Norma Chavez and arranged an emergency meeting at her desk. The committee convened and approved several measures, including the Hooks bill.

Van Arsdale said he also averted potential disaster during the reading of the bill when one legislator questioned him about what the purpose of the bill was. If Van Arsdale spoke for more than 10 minutes about the bill, it would have automatically failed.

“We have worked 30 years on this, it seems like, and one liberal is going to kill this,” Van Arsdale said at the Rotary Club meeting.

However, when he explained to the legislator that the bill would only affect Tomball and that Houston had already given its approval of the project, the opposition was appeased and the bill passed through.

“One person in the right place at the right time could cause a lot of problems,” Van Arsdale said.

At the July 13 First Friday Luncheon of the Greater Tomball Area Chamber of Commerce, Tomball Police Capt. Ricky Doerre honored the July Public Safety Officer of the Month. This month’s honoree was Tray Gammon of the Tomball Fire Department for his work in putting together the city’s July 4 fireworks display. Pictured (from left to right), Tomball Fire Chief Randy Parr, State Rep. Corbin Van Arsdale, Tomball Mayor Gretchen Fagan, Gammon, Doerre, Woodforest National Bank’s Ashley Crisler, State Rep. Debbie Riddle and Miss Tomball 2007 Lilly Robison.
Photo by Brian Walzel

Developers hope creation of TIRZ will defray infrastructure costs

By Brian Walzel
Tribune Staff

Developers for a planned 223-acre commercial and residential development at FM 2920 and FM 2978 are hoping a taxing entity will help them recoup a large portion of infrastructure costs.

An artist’s rendering of the Lakes at Crosspoint, a proposed $200 million development slated to be built at the intersection of FM 2920 and FM 2978.

Representatives from the Gadfy Group and Jolly Properties, developers for the Lakes at Crosspoint, attended a July 16 Tomball City Council meeting where a public hearing was held for the creation of a Tax Increment Revenue Zone (TIRZ).

The developers are counting on the TIRZ to fund more than $16 million of a $23 million total cost for infrastructure, primarily for drainage, roadways and utility improvements.

The Gadfy-Jolly group will pay the upfront costs of the infrastructure and will be reimbursed by the TIRZ over the next 30 years should the council approve its creation. Tax revenue accrued from the development would fund the entity. However, Interim City Manager Mary Coker said that with the creation of the TIRZ there would be no additional tax on the zone.

Bill Calderon, of the engineering firm Hawes Hill Calderon, gave an update to council on the project, which is planned to include 175 single-family homes, 50 multi-family fourplex units, a day care center, a banquet and wedding facility, 316,000 square feet of retail development, 78,000 square feet of office space, 40,000 square feet of restaurant space, a 250-room conference hotel and an 80-room motel.

The project cost is estimated at more than $200 million.

Both the city and Tomball Independent School District could see a windfall of money based on projected tax revenues.

Calderon estimates that the City of Tomball could earn more than $64 million with the school district earning nearly double that amount, almost $120 million, over the zone’s life span.

That revenue would be generated through ad valorem taxes, sales tax, hotel occupancy tax and franchise fees.

Calderdon said he has recently made similar presentations to the Tomball ISD Board of Trustees and Harris County.

The council will likely vote on the creation of the TIRZ by the end of the summer.

If approved, the taxing entity will be the first of its kind in Tomball.

According to Calderon, construction could begin very soon.

“There has already been some movement on the parcels,” he said. “You’ll start to see earth-moving equipment very shortly.”

The entire development has been dubbed The Lakes at Crosspoint, with the residential portion to be called Bridgewater Estates. The development is bordered on the south side by FM 2920 and on the east side by FM 2978.

The project is expected to be completed by 2010.

From the Book of Clifford

By Clifford Parker
Contributing Writer

I want to say “Hi” to a few folks this week. There are a number of people who faithfully read my articles and several people have written me over the years. I’ve been a poor host for not writing back to them in a timely manner, but between my real job, my home and family life, church and some pleasure, I realized that time flies by too quickly.

I want to tell Nancy Adams, Mary Lou Murphy and her sister and upside down Bill O’Neal, “Hello.”

I’ve been struggling this week with something to write about, so I decided to write a couple of short stories.

Last week, while making my way home from the ranch north of Brenham, I went to the local diet center for some healthy food. Kentucky Fried Chicken has switched their grease to non-fat low calorie grease so the chicken they now serve is healthy…at least that’s what someone told me…don’t know who, but somebody did.

As I made my way out of the parking lot at the intersection of Hwy. 36 and Hwy. 290, I saw a very familiar truck backed into a parking space at the local Applebee’s in Brenham.

If any of you know O’Neal and his truck, you know who I’m talking about. I heard a rumor that he painted his name all over his truck so he could find it in the parking lot at the next insurance convention. I don’t remember who told me this…maybe I thought that up myself...not sure!

Anyway, there was Bill’s truck. I really wanted to go inside the restaurant and aggravate him a little, but I was dirty, sweaty and wet from the day’s rain so I decided to confuse him a little. I took a piece of paper and wrote him a note that told him to read about himself in next week’s Tribune and then I signed it “Guess Who.”

Of course, I’m sure he didn’t have any problem figuring out who it was that placed the note on his truck, but I’ll bet he kept wondering what I was doing in Brenham. Then again, he hasn’t called me all week long, so the note may have been washed away by the rain before he ever read it.

I had lunch today with a friend named Mike. For various reasons I cannot give you his last name, but his wife gave me something to write about today.

During our lunch, Mike received a phone call. He is always respectful of our time and knows that when dining with someone, only the extremely important calls should be handled.

His comment as the phone rang was something to the affect of, “If this is my wife I will need to take this call because she has some important information for me.”

I fully understand this remark. When a man’s boss…I mean his wife…calls, we need to take the call right away. Now, a lot of times we guys get calls from our wives at very inopportune times. We may be under a car or on the roof of the house making repairs when the phone rings.

In our strained efforts, we always try to accommodate our wives when they say something like, “What are you doing?” or “Who are you with?” or other non-important things.

That is what happened to Mike when his wife called.

Of course, I could not hear her side of the conversation, but I could tell her first question was, “What are you doing?” He said he was having lunch.

The next question was, “With who?” He said he was having lunch with “Clifford.”

The best I can surmise was she must have told him to call her back when we were finished, but then he asked a very reasonable question to her.

“What difference does it make if I’m having lunch with Clifford, just give me the information?”

Much to his surprise her comment back to him was, “Well I don’t want to read about myself in the paper!”

Can you believe that?! Does she really think I would write about her in the paper without her permission?! I mean…come on…do you really think I would ever harass a person’s personal phone call…me??? Not me! Well…maybe.

I had to promise Mike I would not write about his wife in the paper, so I did. I promised him I would not write about her, but I did not promise I wouldn’t share with you the events of my day!

Hi, Mrs. Mike!

- Clifford