Now, I don’t mean just brain smart, but that thing he gave them called “women’s intuition.” We men don’t have a chance in this life! I don’t care how shrewd or how brainy we men think we are, the women in our lives will always figure us out.

I have been married for enough years to have figured this out a long time ago, but a lot of my experience also comes from the women here in my office.

The thing that brought this issue on today is that I was simply sitting at my desk minding my own business. My son had sent me an e-mail that was very funny and I wanted to share it with my wife, so I printed it. As I held the paper in my hand, I got up from my desk to head toward her office.

Our staff member named Angela was standing in my wife’s office. The moment Angela saw the smile on my face and the gleam in my eye, she quickly announced to my wife, “Look at Clifford, he’s got devilment on his mind,” or something like that.

Now, I must admit that I was going into her office to laugh and cut up with her for a moment, but how in the world did Angela know from twenty feet away, between the walls of glass and the doors that separated us, that I had something sneaky or funny on my mind? Gee whiz! I can’t even think a thought around here without a woman reading my brain!

The youngest member of our staff is Heather. She is my right hand and her work is really appreciated. She works side-by-side with me everyday. It has gotten to the point that now she finishes my sentences, tells me what I am about to say even before I tell her and pretty much finishes my train of thought even before I can finish thinking it.

It just ain’t fair that all these women around here can dig so deep into a guy’s mind that even my thoughts are being calculated in advance of me knowing what I was going to think in the first place! (Now that was deep! You will need to read that last sentence a couple of times.)

Brenda has been around me long enough to already know what I am about to say, but she doesn’t need to comment anymore. She has known me over thirty-five years, and because of her long-term knowledge of my thought process, she is not surprised too much by what I think or say.

The only lady in my work life that I might have a little bit of a bluff on is Shelly. I don’t think she has come to a true understanding of my thought process. I think she knows me, but then again I think I could still shock her with my words and actions. She is probably holding out for just the right moment to make a comment.

The women in my family are just as bad. Even my granddaughter has picked up on her Paw Paw’s thoughts and ideas. There was a time when I could feed her a line of bull corn so long the cows would never need feeding again. However, she is no longer the gullible young child. She has begun the process of developing her own style of “women’s intuition.”

I must say, though, that I am a very strong believer in listening to these women. Not only could they make my life very difficult, but I will admit that my lovely wife has kept me out of hot water more than once in our lifetime.

The best one I remember was when we were first dating. We were attending a party over at the old Oklahoma Community Center more than thirty-five years ago. We were teenagers and the libations were not developed for the underage individuals.

As we were sitting on the couch in the building, she looked at me and said, “Let’s go.” I wanted to argue with her, but she looked at me again in that way that only a very serious woman looks at a man and again she said, “Let’s go and I mean right now!”

Reluctantly, I complied. Less than three minutes later and after we had already left the driveway of the property, a long line of police cars were arriving at the party with flashing lights on and sirens blaring. As an adult, I am now embarrassed but as a young teenager, I was glad I learned a very valuable, firsthand lesson of true women’s intuition. It kept me out of trouble that night.

Clifford

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