Now let me state up front that I don’t need any of you calling me and trying to straighten me out. The things I am writing here are usually reserved for my own brain to ponder silently, but today the vast knowledge I have contained all these years just seems to be overflowing. So I need to release some of my knowledge to allow more to come into my mind. THERE ARE MAJOR DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN!

Wow…I can’t believe I finally told you that, but we all know it’s true. Now in case you want to disagree with me on this statement, hmmm…well… let’s just say you must have been living under a rock if you didn’t already realize this. Of course, we all have seen the picture of two little kids with the tops of their shorts pulled out and looking at themselves down there. The caption under the picture states “there is a difference.” Duhh. Of course.

No, the differences I am talking about are our different views on life and how we observe and apply things to our daily lives. When I observe a landscape while traveling down the road, I scan the entire surroundings briefly and see the tree lines, buildings, animals and all sorts of things in a split second. I look at the entire picture. My wife on the other hand views individual items usually within her immediate, close surroundings. I can tell you if a tree has been removed or a building torn down or a road sign changed.

My wife, however, does not notice such things. I can check my rear view mirror, my side mirrors, my right side and my left side mirrors while driving and pretty much tell you the general color of the cars in my surroundings. My wife is a windshield only and an occasional glance in the rearview mirror driver.

If I am walking in an unknown area I scan my surroundings constantly. Another person I know, however, would not know if there was anybody else in close proximity to her or not. I still remember the time I saw this particular lady walking next to me in a public park. A man was approaching us about fifty yards away with a large stick in his hands twirling it over his head like a ninja.

His very appearance told me to steer clear of him but this lady did not see the potential danger and continued to walk straight toward him so I took her arm and pulled her to the other side of the pathway. She was perturbed at me for making her change her pattern. It was only until I pointed out why she should have been more observant did she see this crazy man coming toward us.

Men think from the bottom up and women think from the top down. Men want a good foundation. Women want the frill or look. Men build infrastructures. Women build the pretty things that sit on the infrastructure. I am in the midst of a personal home project that requires a good foundation. I will spend more time doing things underground that you will never see versus putting pretty things on top. My wife can’t seem to see a thing I have done on the project other than making a mess.

On the other hand, I’m very proud of my underground work thus far.

Women want pretty hair. Men just want hair. Women want pretty clothes. Men just need to cover the important parts regardless of color or match. Women want to talk about things. Men just do things and talk later. Women want to heal things and men want to tear it up. Women like small and petite and men want big and bigger.

I apologize to you for this maddening lesson I have just presented to you because I hope many of you already know this, but my wisdom on such matters was once again heightened here in my office yesterday. All someone needed was a new cartridge for their printer. After fifteen minutes of five women talking about who did what and who ordered this and why we did that, with me stuck in the middle, I decided to walk away and let them sort out the details.

That’s just the way God made us and I am never one to argue with God.

Clifford

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