I’m sure a man created the list. It’s very obvious to me the need for such a large number of pencils and erasers. These are two items that are of great need to a grade school boy.

On the very first day of school, most rooms are equipped with brand new pencil sharpeners. Manual or electric, it is with great necessity and a mark of maturity to be able to go the pencil sharper and sharpen your brand new pencils. The first pencil is used for practice writing. The second pencil is probably used for legitimate writing purposes. The third and forth ones are used to simply hear the noise the sharpeners make. From then on, it’s anybody’s guess what they can be used for.

As days pass the pencils and the pencil sharpener are used to get out of schoolwork. It never failed that while the entire class was quietly working on their papers that my pencil point would break. So I naturally had to make my way to the pencil sharpener in the front of the room. Grinding noises during class time were a great distraction. Forcing the handle to turn to the timing of Jingle Bells made great laughter in the room. I had great musical talent while sharpening my pencils. Think of the song Jingle Bells while you read these words to the rhythm of the song. Grind, grind, grind… grind, grind, grind… grind, grind, grind… grind, grind. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way. Get it?! This musical ability took at least three pencils per day.

A lot of pencils are used to accidentally drop on the floor during class. By accidentally dropping my pencil eight to ten times an hour, the teacher would eventually call me down thereby causing my classmates to giggle ’cause I was in trouble again. It also gives all little boys an opportunity to try to look up the little girls’ dresses too! (I can hear all the new mothers now! “My little boy would never do that!”)

More pencils are needed for the daily sword fights. En guard! Hack, hack, cross cut, cross cut, stab, jab were all part of the day’s activities. Many of them were broken. Some were knocked into the commode if we were sword fighting in the restroom during recess. I never did understand why our commode was always stopped up!

Many a pencil has lost its shiny yellow glaze to a manly showing of one’s strength. Boys place a pencil on the back of their hand just below the knuckles and place their middle finger on top of the pencil. A swift slap on the edge of the desk or on your leg would break the pencil smooth in half. You just ain’t much of a man unless you can break a pencil with one finger.

It’s also a good way the first week of school to earn some extra money by betting your friends you can break a pencil with only one finger. When you run out of pencils, the girls always seem to have enough extras.

Some pencils just get chewed up, others legitimately lost and some of them actually do the work intended. Some of them are used to play chicken. Palms forward and your friend tries to stab your hand before you move it. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. If you ever want to meet a guy who has lost this game, stop by and see me sometime. Almost 50 years ago Mike Hennessy beat me in a game of chicken. I wasn’t quick enough. I still carry the broken pencil lead tip in my hand to this day.

I haven’t even started on the erasers yet, but I sure do hope I have been able to help you understand the need for so many pencils. If you ever need to find out why so many extra rubber erasers are needed, just ask some of the grade school boys you know. They may have little lumps on their heads. Pencils with a brand new rubber eraser make good boppers on a guy’s head and the erasers break off before the pencil is ever used. It makes us tough if we can stand the pain.

Clifford

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed