I was recently lucky enough to see a piece of amazing theater at the Hobby Center in Downtown Houston. I managed to get seats in the second row, right in the center. With the seats I had, I was so close that I was able to watch the sweat pour down the actors’ forehead.  At 8:05 p.m., the curtain rose and the show began.  The two women in the front of me continued chattering until the one man performer began his dialogue.

Before the show I made sure that my cell phone was off and my battery was taken out. The last thing I wanted to happen was my phone going off and the actor gleaming at me as I embarrassedly shut it off.  I also made sure that I had no reason to get up during the performance to use the bathroom. Proper theater etiquette is to not get up during a performance, especially when you are sitting in one of the front rows. Unfortunately, it seemed as if I was one of the only people in the first few rows who knew about these “manners.” Nearly half an hour into the production, the doubtful annoyance unfolds.

As the tension built during the course of the production, my focus was engulfed in the story. Until, all of a sudden a cell phone goes off. A faint annoying ring tone slowly filled the house. I automatically think it’s mine, but then I remembered that I had stripped my cellular device from its battery. I had quickly forgotten about the ringing; but it wasn’t moments later when a couple of the audience members became restless and had the look of “I gotta get out of here” plastered on their faces.

The guy sitting to my right quickly and swiftly scampered out of the theater. I found that rather distracting until a couple front row center had gotten up and created a huge commotion when trying to exit. The man with his cane kept smacking the edge of the stage, as his wife was pushing him towards the center aisle.  I could see the annoyance slowly building within the performers’ eyes but he kept on with the show, not missing a single moment.

With one sudden movement, a young woman stood straight up, again, she was in the front row.

She wore tall high heels that made a clomping noise when she walked, and carried a bag so big, that she could have smuggled in a tank. As she clipped and clopped like an estranged horse, her tank-smuggling purse not only hit the stage, but also kept smashing into the stage speakers and lights.

Me being a stage actor, I knew that this commotion was very distracting. However, the show pressed forward and turned out to be amazing. Even when another woman (on multiple accounts) whipped out her palm pilot to check her messages. The blue light illuminated the theater every time.

Why do people act like this? It would seem as if those audience members would have had more respect for that actor, especially since they were a mere eight feet away from him. Etiquette is the result of good manners, and it seems to be on a steady decline.

My theater story is only one of thousands of examples of people and how they cheat on manners. One can see how children misbehave towards their parents, or how the use of “yes ma’am” or “no sir” is being used less often. Many of us have our own opinions on this matter, so I decided to interview Robert Alowishous, a 50-year veteran of Tomball.

Robert says that Etiquette is not the result of good manners, but instead, it is a “refined word for good manners.”  Robert believes that bad manners resulted from when the “time out” punishment began. This began in the mid to late 1900s with the book publishing’s of Dr. Spock.

In his books, Dr. Spock wrote that the proper way to punish your children was by putting them into “time out” or simply counting from 1 to 10.

“When discipline went away, there was no responsibility for their actions,” Robert said.

Karen Furber, a student at Tomball College told me that, “When I was a young girl, I was taught to never put my elbows on the dinner table. Now it seems as if that rule never applies to people these days. Having your elbows on the table is more susceptible now, than 30 years ago.”

“There’s no accountability for people’s actions anymore,” Robert says. “Kids scream and get what they want.”

Going to the movies these days is sometimes appalling, with the amount of people who talk on their cell phones or text message.

“Just the other day, there was a couple in the movies having a full conversation. They didn’t care who all was in there.”

One may also notice the decline of good manners while driving in your car. Just count how many times someone yells or hollers at you for going the speed limit or slowing down for a traffic spot.

“Now we all can be politically correct, but we have to be rude about it,” Robert exclaimed with a mild chuckle. “Each generation gets worse, because these kids will teach their kids.”

For many, etiquette is a horrible thing to lose. For other, it is merely an annoying antidote that gets in the way.  I know I, for one, try very hard to practice good manners.  I may not always keep my elbows off the dinner table, but I do respect every single person I am around. Therefore, etiquette happens.

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed